March 14, 2012

My dermatology visit was to be a routine visit or so I thought.  My dermatologist is part of a large group.  He is gentle, considerate and allows me to be part of the decision/plan making.

I planned on having a lump removed from my right thigh.  This lump had been bothering me for a few years but I recently decided the lump needed to be removed.  I could feel a lump under the skin but it never changed in size or caused any discomfort.  The skin was dimpled over the lump but was not too obvious.  When the lump formed a sore on the surface and then never healed I knew it was time to see the doctor.  The doctor gave it a long name that I should have written down because I can not remember the name to save me.  He did say he was like 99% sure it wasnt cancerous but would biopsy to be positive. 

The numbing with lidocaine minimal burning.  Before I knew it he said it was out and a pressure dressing would be applied.

All skin on my body was examined by the doctor.  Wearing a flimsy hospital gown can be awkward to say the least.  The gown is lifted an moved around.  I am trying to keep the gown from falling to the floor but I am thinking it would be easier to stand naked for the exam.

2 areas on my face are suspicious and the doctor asks to biopsy them.  1 in below my R eye and the other on the L side of nose. 

The nose is numbed first.  If you have had lidocaine injected into your nose then you will agree it hurts like HELL!  The biopsy is small and leaves a 1/4 inch wound.  Not too bad!

The R lower eye is now numbed.  I expect the pain and burning to be like the nose but I am surprised ti feel only one small prick of needle.  I hold my breath thinking it is going to hurt any minute but it never did hurt.  The doctor takes his time removing the area he is concerned about.  He described it as nodules.  This wound is about the size of a nickel and will not stop bleeding.  After a lot of pressure and cautery the wound stops bleeding and a dressing applied.

I speak to the doctor about PDT. (photodynamic therapy).  He agrees it might be beneficial to my skin and numerous lesions, precancerous and cancerous. 

I schedule an appointment 4/10/12 for the PDT

I walk out of the exam room and head to the closest exit.  The exit I choose is an exit to the outer hallway.  I do not have to walk thru the busy waiting room, thank goodness!  I do not want anyone looking at me.  I havent seen my face yet and feel self-conscious.  All I think walk down the hall, get in the elevator and get in my truck and go home.  I just want to go home!  I step in the elevator which is usually empty but not this time.  A good-looking young man dressed in a military uniform.  Great, someone is going to look at me!  I turn my face looking away trying to get a glance of myself in the elevator wall mirror.  As doing so I see he is looking away from me trying to look at himself in the mirror on his side of the elevator.  I chuckled to myself and think he has had something done to his face too!  We never look directly at each other and never saw a word.

 Once in my truck I look in the mirror and see a bloody bandage below my R eye and a small band-aid on my nose.  My thigh is numb and I do not feel anything under the pressure bandage.

I feel tired and defeated!