Dreaded phone call…

The dreaded phone call with my pathology results came this morning.  I wanted my answers but didn’t want to hear the news that I was already expecting!  After the nurse confirms it is me, she is speaking too, on the phone she starts telling me the pathology report.

Hip lump biopsy…positve basal cell skin cancer!

Lower R eyelid…positve basal cell skin cancer!

L nose…positive actinic keratitis.

Her fist question, “Are you familiar with basal cell cancer?”  I want to reach thru the phone and smack her upside her head!  What kind of question is that?  My chart is full of MY history regarding MY basal cell cancer!  As usual, I remain polite and answer, yes I know about the skin cancer.

She says the doctor recommends I have MOHS surgery (Mohs micrographic surgery is a minor surgical procedure and special method of removing skin cancers using local anesthesia (numbing). The majority of cases are performed in the physician’s office. Mohs is a very precise, highly detailed technique whereby small layers of skin are sequentially removed and immediately examined under the microscope until the samples indicate that the skin cancer is completely removed) for the eyelid and that office will call within a week to schedule the appointment.

An appointment is made with my doctor to remove more skin and tissue on my left thigh for 4/3.

The actinic keratitis was taken care of when the biopsy was done last week so nothing further needs to be done to the  left side of my nose.

In the few hours, since this phone call, I have experienced many emotions!  I mainly feel angry!  This whole thing just pisses me off!  I know I abused my skin for many years but so have a lot of other people.  So why am I one of the unlucky few that gets to have my skin cut, burned, scarred and butchered!

The eye lid basal cell removal will be an awful surgery!  Layer by layer will be cut away until all the cancer is removed!  Having the cancer removed is a good thing but having my lower eyelid removed is not something I want to experience.  I am not a vain person but I don’t want to be disfigured and stared at by family, friends and strangers!

My incision on my L thigh is already 1 inch long so now it will probably double in size and I can go thru the healing process again.  Having this scar on my leg isn’t much of a concern though.

I keep wondering how I am going to work throughout this mess?  Luckily I have an already approved time off 4/8 thru 4/18.  I was supposed to be vacationing in the Bahamas but now will be vacationing sitting in a doctor’s office and at home taking care of my wounds, physically and mentally!

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2 thoughts on “Dreaded phone call…

  1. I am so sorry for what you are having to go thru. I appreciate your willingness to share your journey and for your honesting. I will be praying for you…

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