Nervous, anxious and afraid!

Tomorrow is the day I have MOHS surgery. The basal cell carcinoma that is below my right eye and on my upper thigh will be removed.

MOHS surgery is a slice by slice procedure. Each slice is reviewed under the microscope to see if all cancer cells are gone. If not, another slice is cut and cut until every edge is clear. When the process starts the doctor and I will not know how much skin or tissue will need to be removed. Not knowing the final outcome is not how I like to do things. I like clear-cut answers whenever possible. 

Most MOHS surgery incisions are closed the same day. The incision is sutured closed, bandaged and you are sent home to recover. If my eye/face requires a large incision or the cancer cells goes into my eyelid then the incision will be left open for a plastic surgeon to reconstruct.  A bulky bandage will be placed over my eye and wound and I will see the next doctor in a few days.  Not fun, going home with an open hole on ones face!

I mentally try to prepare myself for tomorrow! I feel like I am informed on what to expect. I have read many articles and viewed pictures with good and bad outcomes. I am as ready as I am going to be!  But yet, I am nervous, anxious and afraid! I will try to stay positive and hopeful!  

All positive energy, thoughts and prayers sent my way are very much appreciated!

Tomorrow…

Tomorrow, I return to work in the ER. I will work 3 days in a row, 12 hr shifts each day. The hard part will be when my alarm goes off at the early hour of 5am! And yes, I am looking forward to returning to work.

This past week has been very long and exhausting! A week full of pain and healing, emotionally and physically.  I am finally seeing progress to my healing skin. What was 2nd degree burned skin is now almost healed. Many of the red lesions are gone. Only a few scabbed areas remain.

To my fellow coworkers it is alright to ask me; how I am, what has been done and why! I decided to be open and not remain private about this skin cancer journey I am traveling. I hope my situation will help someone else make better decisions in their life regarding tanning and possible skin cancer!

To those who expressed positive thoughts, concerns and prayers …THANK YOU!